...it would go something like this:
Top 1 - Way to go Sori. One batter one hit. It will be a good night.
Top 1 - WTF, mate? Is the ump blind? How did he miss that pick-off call?
Bot 1 - Walks aren't good. What is Colby Haircut bunting for?
Bot 1 - Pujols pops out right up the shaft...haha! Shaft...up...Pujols.
Bot 1 - F'ing Yadier. Slow, stupid sonofabitch.
Top 2 - 0-1 not too hard to overcome. D-Lee looks on tonight.
Top 2 - F'ing double play. Way to go, Gameboard.
Bot 2 - WTF is a Stavinoha???
Bot 2 - 1-2-3 inning. Boo-ya!
Top 3 - Ugh, c'mon Chicago. Show a little patience.
Bot 3 - No walks, Theodore.
Bot 3 - I said no walks, Theodore!
Bot 3 - Whew. Dodged a bullet there.
Bot 4 - WTF happened to the top of the 4th? I just got up to go to the bathroom...
Bot 4 - Way to hack, Duncan. You suck.
Top 5 - Patience, grasshopper! Show patience and you shall walk!
Top 5 - A double for Fontenot. Now he's like 2 for his last 35 (estimation).
Bot 5 - Who hit that HR? Colby?!? Go get a f'ing haircut!
Top 6 - Way to waste an at-bat Miles.
Bot 6 - I think I'll Google Stavinoha. Isn't that one of those Nepalese mountain guides...nope, sherpa. Damn.
Top 7 - *sigh* This isn't looking good...
Bot 7 - Good 1-2-3.
Top 8 - Can the Cubs buy a hit?
Bot 8 - Fantastic. Gregg. Mr. 4 runs on 4 hits.
Top 9 - Please get a run. No CG shutout.
Top 9 - F! Now I have to listed to those stupid fair weather Cards fans tomorrow.
Here's the play by play so you can follow along with my thought process:
| Top 1st |  | 0 run, 1 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 0 |
| Soriano singled to left. |
| Soriano was picked off, catcher Molina to first baseman Pujols, Soriano out. |
| Theriot grounded out, third baseman Barden to first baseman Pujols. |
Fukudome grounded out, shortstop Ryan to first baseman Pujols.
|
| Bot 1st |  | 1 run, 1 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 1 |
| Ryan walked. |
| Rasmus sacrificed, pitcher Lilly to first baseman Lee, Ryan to second. |
| Pujols fouled out to catcher Soto. Ryan stole third. Molina singled to center, Ryan scored. |
Duncan struck out.
|
| Top 2nd | | 0 run, 1 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 1 |
| Lee singled to center. |
| Bradley grounded into a double play, second baseman Thurston to shortstop Ryan to first baseman Pujols, Lee out. |
Fontenot grounded out, first baseman Pujols unassisted.
|
| Bot 2nd | | 0 run, 0 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 1 |
| Stavinoha flied out to right fielder Bradley. Barden popped out to second baseman Miles. |
Pineiro struck out.
|
| Top 3rd | | 0 run, 0 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 1 |
| Soto grounded out, shortstop Ryan to first baseman Pujols. Miles grounded out, pitcher Pineiro to first baseman Pujols. |
Lilly struck out.
|
| Bot 3rd | | 0 run, 0 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 1 |
| Thurston walked on a full count. |
| Ryan walked, Thurston to second. |
| Rasmus flied out to left fielder Soriano. |
| Pujols flied out to center fielder Fukudome. |
Molina grounded into fielder's choice, shortstop Theriot to second baseman Miles, Ryan out.
|
| Top 4th | | 0 run, 0 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 1 |
| Soriano grounded out, shortstop Ryan to first baseman Pujols. |
Theriot grounded out, third baseman Barden to first baseman Pujols. Fukudome flied out to left fielder Duncan.
|
| Bot 4th | | 0 run, 1 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 1 |
| Duncan struck out. |
| Stavinoha infield single to third. |
Barden grounded into a double play, shortstop Theriot to second baseman Miles to first baseman Lee, Stavinoha out.
|
| Top 5th | | 0 run, 1 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 1 |
| Lee lined out to center fielder Rasmus. |
| Bradley grounded out, first baseman Pujols unassisted. |
| Fontenot doubled to left. |
Soto grounded out, third baseman Barden to first baseman Pujols.
|
| Bot 5th | | 2 runs, 2 hits, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 3 |
| Pineiro struck out. |
| Thurston lined out to first baseman Lee. |
| Ryan singled to center. |
| Rasmus homered to right on a 1-2 count, Ryan scored. |
Pujols grounded out, shortstop Theriot to first baseman Lee.
|
| Top 6th | | 0 run, 0 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 3 |
| Miles was out bunting, pitcher Pineiro to first baseman Pujols. |
| Lilly struck out. |
Soriano grounded out, third baseman Barden to first baseman Pujols.
|
| Bot 6th | | 0 run, 0 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 3 |
| Molina grounded out, third baseman Fontenot to first baseman Lee. |
Duncan grounded out, first baseman Lee to pitcher Lilly. Stavinoha flied out to left fielder Soriano.
|
| Top 7th | | 0 run, 0 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 3 |
| Theriot grounded out, first baseman Pujols to pitcher Pineiro. |
| Fukudome grounded out, shortstop Ryan to first baseman Pujols. |
Lee flied out to center fielder Rasmus.
|
| Bot 7th | | 0 run, 0 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 3 |
| Barden grounded out, pitcher Lilly to first baseman Lee. |
| Pineiro struck out. |
Thurston lined out to center fielder Fukudome.
|
| Top 8th | | 0 run, 0 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 3 |
| Schumaker in as left fielder. Robinson in as right fielder. Bradley grounded out, second baseman Thurston to first baseman Pujols. |
| Fontenot flied out to left fielder Schumaker. |
Soto struck out.
|
| Bot 8th | | 0 run, 1 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 3 |
| Gregg pitching. Ryan flied out to right fielder Bradley. |
| Rasmus flied out to right fielder Bradley. |
Pujols doubled to left. Molina grounded out, shortstop Theriot to first baseman Lee.
|
| Top 9th | | 0 run, 0 hit, 0 error |
| Chicago 0, St. Louis 3 |
| Miles grounded out, shortstop Ryan to first baseman Pujols. |
| Hoffpauir pinch-hitting for Gregg. Hoffpauir struck out. |
| Soriano struck out. |
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