Monday, December 8, 2008

It has been almost 20 days....

...since we've last posted. Why? Nothing has gone on except wild speculation. Well, little missy, I can't resist myself anymore. Here is what is going to go down at the winter meetings in fabulous Las Vegas:

Jake Peavy: Peavy will be traded to the Cubs for Felix Pie and one of those delicious hot dogs they serve at Wrigley. You know. The ones with the poppy seed buns, sauteed onions, saur kraut, and mustard. Delicious.

CC Sabathia: Sabathia will be signed by the Cardinals (say what!?!). The Cardinals would have recently freed up some salary because they has just traded Albert Pujols to Chunichi Dragons for a container of wontons.

A.J. Burnette: Burnette will sign with the Yankees and promply be traded to the Chicago White Stockings for a young upstart named Joeseph Jackson.

No, I'm not serious about any of these. I am just futher illustrating my point that all of this hearsay and conjecture is making me very anxious for Spring Training. Hell, I'll even take the '09 WBC. I really just need some sort of competitive baseball. Please...

On a more serious note, good luck to Maddux and whatever he decides to do with the rest of his life (he's only 42 and has millions upon millions of dollars, I'm sure he'll be fine). We'll be looking for you in Cooperstown in a few years.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Cards sign Trevor Miller

This is a good move, and the first step in of a three pronged process that gets the Cards back into competition in the Central or as I like to call it the NL North + the Astros. The three pronged process is:
Step 1: Lefty out of the bullpen
Step 2: Signing or trading for an Ace starter such as Peavy
Step 3: Signing Brian Fuentes

But I will go ahead and say it "Mission Accomplished"

On another note, this falls into the category of "things I do when I run my fake franchise on OOTP/Madden". I always go out and try to get Trever Miller. Other members of this category are the trading of Elvis Grbac from the 49ers to the Chiefs. Grbac was a member of my Madden Chiefs franchise years before he was an actual member of the Chiefs. Sadly however, the Chiefs never went out and got Rodney Hampton who was always my featured back.

Monday, November 17, 2008

The end of an era...

I'm depressed. The inspiration for this blog has decided to hang it up. The guys at FJM have decided to call it quits. I'll never forget their shameless and never-ending jabs at Joe Morgan, David Eckstein, Hatguy, Joe Morgan, Darin Erstad, Tim McCarver, Joe Morgan, John Kruk, Carl Ravech, Joe Morgan, Chris Berman (from time to time), Buster Olney, Joe Morgan, Bruce Jenkins, Jay Mohr, and others. But most of all, I won't forget the snarky digs at Joe Morgan. It's a sad day ladies and gents.

Also on the note of ending eras, Woody is leaving Chicago quite unceremoniously. If he ends up in St. Louis, I will have a great conflict of interest. I want to cheer him because he's Woody. I can't cheer him because he's wearing red. This would be like Abraham Lincoln, living in the 1980's, defecting to become a general of the Red Army. You gotta like the guy 'cause he's Lincoln. But, again, he's wearing red so you feel that you are betraying yourself by rooting for him. Please, please, please, Woody, don't go to the Redbirds....please.

On the brighter side, Pujols won the 2008 NL MVP. I guess there is hope for the world. The baseball writers realized that the best player in the league doesn't necessarily have to come from a playoff team. I have a more optimistic outlook on the future now.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

In the 1800's it was called the Hot Wood-burning Stove season...

...and everyone ate hardtack and drank mead. Enough with the history lesson..on to baseball!

I think Runningman is doing a little bit of wishful predicting. Colby Rasmus and Ryan Ludwick for Jake Peavey? P'sha! (That's right, I broke out the P'sha.) I think what Runningman meant to say is that Jake Peavey will be wearing blue pinstripes on opening day in the Windy City.

Realistically, I am picking Peavey to end up on the Royals. Why the Royals? I don't know. Why did the A's get Holliday? Where did they come from? I don't trust the sports-reporting media anymore. I feel that I was led astray.

On the topic of Holliday, I feel that anyone that says that Ludwick, Schumaker, and Boggs for Holliday is a rip-off for the Cardinals is a complete moron. Actually, those who think that are not complete morons, I just disagree with your point of view. I have seen no indication that the 28 year old Ludwick is the player that he was in 2008. I still think it will be a career year for him. I'm not saying he's awful, but I don't think he'll reproduce the numbers he had in 2008.

Many will point to Holliday's home/away splits as evidence that the Cardinals would be fleeced in the deal. Those spits don't tell the whole story. Think of the ballparks that Holliday plays in most often when he is away from home...Petco Park, Dodger Stadium, AT&T Park. None of these three are hitter-friendly parks. Those factors should more than cancel out the bump his stats get from playing at Coors.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Things that never should have happened to St.Louis.........

1. Dan Haren getting traded to the A's.

2. Kurt Warner playing for the Giants/Cardinals and not playing for the Rams.....why again did we let him leave. Every week I watch him, every week I realize how much of an idiot Martz and company are.

Breaking News.....

Matt Holliday to A's. Inside sources tell TST that Cards stepped out of the race for Matt Holliday to go after Jake Peavey. Cards rumored to be ready to offer Colby Rasmus or Ryan Ludwick for Jake Peavey.

Unnamed sources also indicate that Carpenter will not be ready till May 1st.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Breaking News....

Ryan Ludwick, Skip Schumaker and Mitchell Boggs for Rockies Matt Holliday .... developing..........

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Lets focus on some sports now

Congratulations to President-elect Barack Obama. Probably the most well-organized campaign ever.

Hopefully the mainstream media will stop fawning over him sometime over the next 8 years.

On that note I will make some predictions :

-Israel will be hyper sensitive to Iran and they will go to war in the next year as Israel will now have to fend for itself(sorry, sorry back to sports).

-The Cards will not get rid of Adam Kennedy. Why won't they? I have no idea. He was my least favorite Cardinal last year and he is the leading candidate to be named my least favorite Cardinal of 2009. Trade him, cut him, DFA him, I don't care as long as he is not a Cardinal. Same goes for Izzy.
-The Cubs will make the mistake of thinking their players don't age and stick with what works and presto they'll finish in 2nd, no they'll win the division again.
-Mark Mulder Retires
-Manny signs with LA
-CC CCCabthia signs with....the Yankees.
-Cards will not sign a top-line starting pitcher.
-US Military continues its dominance in killing the #2 guy in Al-Queda.
-In a play off batting the pitcher 8th, LaRussa decides not to play with a guy at shortstop as a way to generate more plays at the plate and leverage the strengths of Ankiels arm and Molina ability to hold on to the ball in a home plate collision.
-The travesty of Dan Haren playing for any team but the Cards continues.
-Giants win the Superbowl.
-I will hear at least 5 callers between now and opening day on STL sports talk radio call up and ask the host what they think about the idea of the Cards signing Mark Prior and/or Greg Maddux.
-Cards will sign Brian Fuentes.
-Colby Rasmus is in LF on opening day.

Also, did he or did he not win his 2nd World Series ring. This should have been a major celebration for our namesake So Taguchi. He once again propelled a team to victory. As the elder and much wiser blogger here at TST....and lets face it...I'm also the talent...I'm disappointed in our blog. I'm disappointed in us, we are better than this. So deserved much more than this.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Hot mustn't touch...

So far, the Brewers have made the biggest headlines this Hot Stove season...but only because they are the sole team with negotiating rights to C.C. Sabathia. (Oops, I mean CC Sabathia.) Reportedly, the 'Crew have offered CC $100 mil over either 4 or 5 years. CC would be a giant moron to take that offer. Don't get me wrong. That's a lot of scratch. Considering the chatter out there about CC, he's gonna take in much more than $100 million.

But let's not kid ourselves. I have a theory that all of this CC Sabathia, Mark Texeria, and ManRam (still hate that nickname) nonsense is done as a smokescreen. There are some very valuable players out there that won't go for $100 mil. So, I know what you're wanting to ask. Cap, what are the real Hot Stove stories this year? Well, sit down there little missy because school is in session.

- Will the Cardinals be able to move Adam Kennedy? My crystal (base)ball says yes. Why? Whomever gets the prized possession that is Adam Kennedy also gets career .276 BA and career .707 OPS. The lucky team would get all this for the rock-bottom price of $4M (Assuming that the Cards eating some of that contract is not part of the deal).

- Where will David "X Factor" (according to his Wikipedia page) Eckstein end up? Let me ask you this hypothetical question. What would you pay for a hustler with an enlarged heart and gritty DNA? I have that right, don't I? Big heart? Check. Gritty DNA? Check. One who hustles? Check. Let me ask you this. What would you pay for intangible skills?

in·tan·gi·ble: -adjective
not definite or clear to the mind

- Oh where, oh where will So Taguchi go? He's playoff tested. He has 2 WS rings. Stay tuned, folks to your unbiased, exclusive So Taguchi news source for updates!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

The last time I saw something this long, I was looking down in the shower…

Hello everyone. I am “The Yellow Dart”, the latest experimental guest writer on the world famous “That’s So Taguchi” blog.

Before I say anything else, I would like to thank Runningman and Captain Awesome for their invitation to this exclusive blog. And I must say that I’ve been a big fan of the blog for many, many years (or months, whichever makes more sense).

The only slight hesitation that I had in becoming a guest writer for this blog was the detailed, lengthy, and somewhat strange agreement that the management team made me sign before posting my first entry. Just to get a feel for this lengthy contract, I have included a few of the points that I feel will stifle my creative juices…

  • You may include no references to being intimate with Captain Awesome’s mother, sisters, finance, and/or mistress.

  • You may post no entries dedicated solely to your “man crush” Chris Duncan and his worthiness as a MVP contender.

  • You may not make any posts describing in detail any dreams that you could, would, or should have about Runningman and his sexual escapades with So Taguchi.

  • You may not go an extended length of time without a post questioning J2T’s “manhood”, “sexual orientation”, and/or “possible transgender status”.

  • You cannot headline any post with the phrase “I feel that Capitan Awesome would marry Corey Hart if it were socially acceptable”.

  • You may not mention and/or describe explicit phrases such as “angry pirate, wobbly H, or rusty trombone”.

  • While poetry may be used, excessive Haiku usage is prohibited.
  • You may not at any point use the term “Seventh Inning secom somethings” (whatever that means).

  • And finally… You are not allowed to make repeated references to Billy Mays and/or any of his fantastic home products that include (but are not limited to):

The Big City Slider Hamburger Press
The Handy Switch (Wireless Light Switch)
The Steam Buddy
Mighty Putty
Fix it Scratch Remover
Liquid Diamond
Samurai Shark Sharpener Knives
The Awesome Auger Yard Tool
Zorbeez Cloths
The Hercules Hook
Orange Glo
The Gator Grip
The Ding King
Mighty Mend It

In all seriousness, in future posts, I hope to “make my mark” on this blog by talking about sports other than baseball (to keep me occupied until April). I would speculate that these sports would lean heavily toward the NFL, NCAA Basketball, and even NASCAR.

As an added bonus, I would also like to add a new segment to the TST blog called “Dear Dart”. In this segment, you, the avid reader may submit questions that I will answer in future posts. Feel free to be creative.

-The Yellow Dart

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Say hello to my little friend...

...The Yellow Dart.

Dear Mr. Dart,

Let us be the first to extend a condescending "Congratulations." You have your first (and probably only) shot at blogging glory. Don't F it up.

The That's So Taguchi Management

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Congratulations Philly!

This is just a phantastic win phor the phans of Philadelphia.
(I'm already tired of using the "ph" instead of the letter "f" in their headlines.)

A special congratulations goes out to our little buddy, So. Way to go, So! You did it. You got another ring and you didn't have to do a damn thing. You didn't even see one pitch in the series. Truly an inspiration to the children.

Do you know what else is an inspiration to the children? From So's Wikipedia entry:
Taguchi learned English from his wife Emiko, a former television reporter who speaks it fluently. He also practiced by watching films such as Finding Nemo and Monsters, Inc.

Reporter: So, you just won the World Series. What are you going to do now?
So Tag: I'm going to Disney Worrd to see my friends Nemo, Marrin, Surry and Mike Wazowski!
Reporter: OK then.

(I apologize for the insensitive joke about the way that Asians can't pronounce "L" sounds. I feel bad about making the joke...just not bad enough to go back and take it out.)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Selig it right...without a doubt...100 percent...unequivocally. OK, maybe somewhat equivocally.

Sure, BJ Upton needed a snorkel for his steal of second in the top of the 6th.

OK, so maybe Ryan Howard needed some fly fishing waders at first.

Philly fans should not complain. This arrangement played right into Shane Victorino's hands. He's probably used to this from the monsoons in Hawaii (Hawaii does have monsoons, doesn't it?)

Nevertheless, Bud Selig made the right call. Everyone I talked to today kept saying, "What about the hotel arrangements?" or "What about the fans? Are they going to want to come back for 3.5 innings?" or "How are they going to handle beer sales if they usually cut them off after the seventh?"

Actually, the last question was my own. The others I don't care about. Why worry about inconveniencing 45,000 or so fans when you have hundreds of millions to really worry about. Who the hell wants to see the World Series end because of inclement weather? This would have been worse than a tie in the All-Star Game. I say "Way to go, Bud."

By the way, Mr. Selig, when can Carlos Pena expect his fruit basket with 'Thank You' card? You do realize that he bailed you out from having to toss aside the MLB rulebook for the integrity of the World Series. Bud, you owe Mr. Pena.

***UPDATE*** Wrong Carlos. I originally (mistakenly) typed Carlos Ruiz in the paragraph above.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Your baseball team is like which Backstreet Boy?

I am not looking forward to 2008 after baseball...or, for that matter, 2009 before baseball. I know, I know. I'm like a kid dreading Monday coming on Friday afternoon. We have the biggest series of the year ahead, but I am worked up because baseball is almost over. I think I have too much time to ponder these things.

I have become infinitely There was no baseball today. These kinds of days have been rough. It takes me back to mid-July during the All-Star break...when there was also no baseball. This is why I am dreading the offseason. While I wait for the WS to begin, I would like to comment on those articles that I wish I could resist. I call these articles "Your team is like which Backstreet Boy?" You want to pass these articles up for more intelligent discussion, but you can't because you honestly want to see which Backstreet Boy your favorite team most resembles.

I know you were hoping that I would spell it out, so here it is:

"Your team is like which Backstreet Boy?"

1. New York Yankees - The New York Yankees are most like the gay Backstreet Boy.
2. Milwaukee Brewers - The Brewers are most like the annoying Backstreet Boy that is also gay.
3. Houston Astros - The Astros are most like the grizzled Backstreet Boy that tries to look manly, but is gay.
4. Chicago White Sox - The White Sox are most like the other gay Backstreet Boy with the loud-mouthed, latin manager.

I don't know how many Backstreet Boys there are (were?), so I'm just going to stop the list. I think you get the idea of where I am going with this.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

World Baseball Classic

2009 will be the second incarnation of the WBC. Japan will get the chance to defend their title. I have a few questions/comments regarding the WBC before I get geared up for it this March.

- Why can't they play it after the MLB season? Perhaps in November. Maybe in January? Why does it have to be in March and mess up Spring Training?

- If I were to purchase a Cuba jersey and wear it around, would people label me a communist? I think they probably would because I don't look hispanic at all.

- Why don't they have tighter restrictions on what team players can play for? I know it wouldn't be fair to say that you had to play for the country in which you last played. The US would probably clean up every year (that and Team Canada would essentially be the Blue Jays). Why can't they make it that you had to be born in that country to play for the team. Or, you have to have citizenship in the country you wish to play for.

- Going along with the above comment, why was Mike Piazza able to play for the Italians?

- Everyone is high on Japan because they have "good fundamentals." That's boring. The WNBA tried to make the case that the sound fundamentals made up for the inability to dunk. We see where that got them.

- I apologize for the WNBA joke. It was low-hanging fruit, but I couldn't resist. Plus, I like comparing the Japanese baseball team to the WNBA.

- If Fukudome bats over .250 for Japan, I'm going to be really pissed.

- Finally, who decided that the Netherlands gets a team? C'mon!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Who's the boss?

Hank is. (You thought I was going to say Tony Micelli, didn't you?) In case you haven't heard, Hank says he is still the boss...oh yeah, Hal's the boss too, but that's it! You want the rant? You can't handle the rant! Here it is anyway:

Hank Steinbrenner yesterday spit on the notion he has taken a step back in running the New York Yankees "There is one very important point here," Steinbrenner told The Post during an exclusive half-hour session. "The most important thing to remember is this: If you didn't get it from me or my brother [Hal], it doesn't mean [anything]. I don't care about some piss-ant employee. If you don't get it from me or Hal, it's meaningless. I have a lot of things [in Tampa] and Hal is in New York, which is good." Asked if he has taken a step back, Steinbrenner emphatically said, "No." Since The Boss turned over the day-to-day operations to his sons, Hank has one regret. "I should have pushed harder for the [Johan] Santana deal," said Hank.

-NY Post

You heard it here first, folks. Hank Steinbrenner doesn't "care about some piss-ant employee." I can envision it now. Some poor seven year old kid with a English accent, dressed in rags is selling newspapers on a corner in 19th century London. He cries "Extra! Extra! Hank Steinbrenner doesn't care about some piss-ant employee!"

Seriously, this guy is a riot. For your enjoyment, here is your Hank of the Day pic. I know what you're thinking and all I can say is "you are welcome."

Monday, October 6, 2008

The Truth is Out There

This will be a post that goes in many directions. Stay with me if you can.

I dislike the Cubs, if I had to rank the teams in order of me liking them the Cards, Royals, Red Sox would be 1,2,3. The Yankees, Brewers, White Sox, Astros would pull up the rear. Towards the end somewhere would be the Cubs. The Cubs and the Cards have one of the best rivalries and it is unfortunate that they have not been able to add the playoff intesity to this rivalry as they have never played each other in the playoffs so there is not this intense hatred of them like I have for the Astros.

Don't get me wrong, I was glad to see them get swept, I was glad to see the Brewers get swept, however, with all that being said, I feel your pain Cubs fan. I feel your pain Captain Awesome. The 5 game series is a joke. Baseball is random enough and it is impossible to show one teams dominance over another in 7 games let alone 5 games. So, then only having a 5 game series just ramps up the random meter. Do you want to pick the winner next year when the playoffs start, don't look at the records, don't look at the lineups, don't look to see who has the most dominant pitchers.....just flip a coin.

My suggestion is to just have a one game playoff for the first round. Why not? Heck if you are going to tell a team that they can win their division, have the best record in the league, but yet not have any discernable advantage for doing so and better yet, you better not go on a 2 game losing streak or guess what? You have to run the table to go to the next round. Throw in that there really isn't any difference between a wild card team and a division winner and then why not just have a one game playoff that will increase ratings and bring the excitement of the NFL playoffs and totally just giving up on wanting the best team to actually have a chance at winning it all.

It is a screwy system and it blows.

I'm still glad the Cubs got swept.


Don't believe everything you read. Do realize that the people who are deciding what you are reading for news essentially have no checks and balances system in place. They can and do literally write anything they want and they will get away with it and they know they can get away with it. I realize if I wanted to I could have become a journalist, I could have went to college and majored in journalism instead of getting my masters in microbiolgoy with an emphasis in molecular genetics, then it would be someone like me, someone who obsesses over goofy things like baseball and politics deciding what you get to read.

Really what difference is their between you and a reporter out there covering the news. Chances are you studied something harder in college, chances are you have more education than them. Chances are you work in an industry where you have to make more decisions. Chances are if you make a mistake you will have to answer to your boss. Chances are you have to be licensed or have some type of professional or governmental organizational backing. Why are they deciding what I get to read? Don't allow the mainstream media to lie to you because chances are you could do your job and theirs.

I understand why athletes get fed up with reporters. They attempt to manipulate the system to make it about them. Don't believe me? How many times have you heard that "this player" or "that player" will have a hard time making it into the HOF because of how he treated the media? I hear it several times each year around All-Star voting time. That's just the tip of the iceberg.
When the "list" of steroid abusers came out several agencies reported it as truth but guess what, it wasn't. Puljos was one of those listed, now maybe he did or maybe he didn't take steroids but that list was a hoax and there was no proof.

This shouldn't happen. They pick and choose the news they think we should hear, they pick and choose the corruption they want to investigate. That's the reason baseball is so awesome and amazing and even with all the steroids still pure. The winner is the one with the most runs. The coaches don't debate each other, there are no stump speeches and there isn't a reporter with some agenda who doesn't understand VORP telling me who he thinks won.

The Red Sox just beat the Angels.

My apologies to Runningman...

...but I've been a little preoccupied lately. Actually, I have been a basket-case lately.

Anyhow, on with the show. I would like to fully agree with Runningman's picks for the TST HOF.
- Chuck Norris is a man, a myth, and a legend. What can be said about Chuck Norris that hasn't already been said (literally).

- Hank Aaron is awe inspiring. Besides, he didn't punk out and follow Bonds around until he hit the record-breaking HR. You hear me Selig?

As for the TST Douchebag HOF:
- Criss Angel is fighting Jose Canseco for the definition of douchebaggery. He looks like a douchebag, he acts like a douchebag, and he makes a living being a douchebag. He's the kind of guy that I want to punch just because of the way he looks.

-Brady Anderson - HR's by season:
1988 - 1
1989 - 4
1990 - 3
1991 - 2
1992 - 21
1993 - 13
1994* - 12
1995 - 16
1996 - 50
1997 - 18
1998 - 18
1999 - 24
2000 - 19
2001 - 8
2002 - 1

Let me take that a step further...AB/HR:
1988 - 325.0
1989 - 66.5
1990 - 78.0
1991 - 128.0
1992 - 29.7
1993 - 43.1
1994* - 37.8
1995 - 34.0
1996 - 11.6
1997 - 32.8
1998 - 26.6
1999 - 23.5
2000 - 26.6
2001 - 53.8
2002 - 80.0

How does this compare to the known 'roid lads in their heyday (in AB/HR)?
Anderson '96 - 11.6
McGwire '98 - 7.3
Sosa '99 - 9.9
Bonds '02 - 6.5

Anderson ranks right up there with the likes of McGwire, Sosa and Bonds...right? Isn't that the type of player you think of when you think of Brady Anderson???

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The 100th appropriate.

I have nothing intelligible to say after the Cubs' 7-2 loss to the Dodgers in the NLDS Game 1. Instead, I will relay the text messaging that went on between myself and Johnny-2-Turds (no shit, he's really alive). Bonus: I will give you my very own commentary on the conversation in italics.

Out of the blue in the seventh inning (or thereabouts)...
J2T: I've had about enough of Tony Gwynn and his scratchy voice.
Cap'n A: I wouldn't mind it so much if he had something intelligent to say.
J2T: He kept calling Derek Lowe Derek Lee and vice versa in the first few innings.
Cap'n A: I know. I was cracking up.
A little while later...
J2T: This broadcast needs Rick Sutcliff. Ha!
Cap'n A: He would be so drunk by now...
J2T: Totally. Hey, I'm thankful I'm not listening to Ron Santo. I can hear him already... Oh No... Oh Man... GEEZE!
Cap'n A: You forgot "C'mon."
J2T: Hahaha. Yeah, I did.
Even later...
Cap'n A: I love this cliche: He doesn't try to do too much, he takes it up the middle. Thanks Tony.
J2T: I enjoyed the lecture on keeping your head down. Hey, if color commentators can't use cliches, what can they use?
Feeling humorous accusatory racism is the only escape...
Cap'n A: Color commentators? You racist.
J2T: Sorry, I should have said commentators of color.
J2T: Say it in a Jesse Jackson voice.
Apparently thinking everything is "hilarious" when I'm drunk, I reply...
Cap'n A: That's hilarious.
J2T: Tony: "time's running out, one out in the eighth." Brilliant. Can they cancel his TV contract after one game?
On a play at first when it looked like Theriot was out, but Maddux didn't touch the bag...
J2T: Good call.
When I didn't even see Maddux miss the bag...
Cap'n A: I didn't even see Maddux miss the bag.
J2T: Me neither.
Now I'm starting to become anti-social, so J2T takes the initiative to text message me again...
J2T: Z better bring it tomorrow.
Cap'n A: He better...
While pitching a bitch fit like a little girl...
Cap'n A: I'm pitching a bitch fit like a little I'm a little drunk so it is even worse.
J2T: Well, these short series always suck, especially when you lose th fist game. The you feel like it's must win every game.
Now even more cynnical than just after the game...
Cap'n A: If the Cubs lose tomorrow, they're almost eliminated. How's that for a Gwynn-ism?
J2T: Pretty good.

Monday, September 29, 2008

September Nominees

My September nominees

For the STS HOF:
Chuck Norris
--An icon, a man we all hope to strive to be but know that we can never achieve. He should carry the mantle of being the first inductee into the greatest and most exclusive HOF of all-time.
--Hank Aaron
--The all-time leader in HR's.

For the DB HOF:
Criss Angel
-This guy is such a tool. His "magic" is easily debunked as all you have to do is go out on youtube and see how many people can easily demo how he performs his stunts. He is an extremely poor "magician". He is extremely full of himself and not in a cool way but in a major douchebag way. He is so bad that my wife has banned his show from our house. However, I continue to watch when I can just so I have something to make fun of.
Brady Anderson
-He would have been the namesake of this website. Everybody needs to take note of what I am about to say next as years from now when this site is way famous there will be trivia about the little known facts about TST. Here is one of them. The original name for this site was "I hate Brady Anderson".
He is the father of steroids in MLB. Not Jose Canseco, not Big Mac, but Brady Anderson. Sadly Brady you dragged Cal down with you. No, Cal didn't do roids or maybe he did I don't know. But Cal stood up for you saying that you, Brady, should be in the BBW HOF thereby getting himself banned along with Brady.

Sunday, September 28, 2008


I'm am going to join into this stupid debate that has gone on year after year. I am going to throw out my NL MVP choice and tell you why.

If I got the honor of choosing this year's MVP I would choose CC Sabathia...if the criteria was which player turned out to be the most valuable to their team. For some reason, a lot of baseball writers think this way. Of course, this isn't my view of the MVP award. I see the MVP award as the player that would be most valuable to any team.

So, who would I pick? Albert Pujols. Does this guy go through slumps? He has a bum elbow (has had it for years now) and he is consistently the best player in baseball day in and day out. I am not picking Pujols based on his performance in years past. Pujols is batting .357. He has 37 HR's. 116 R'sBI. He walked 104 times and struck out 54. He has a 1.079 OPS. This guy is a monster!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I'm really starting to love this guy.

Who? Hank Steinbrenner, of course. You may recall that I called him my new arch enemy here. Maybe I wasn't being fair. I felt bad about declaring him my arch enemy based on one statment...that is, until now.

From the New York daily news:
Many people have been impressed with the Dodgers' recent turnaround, one which will likely land Joe Torre's club in the postseason next week. Just don't count Hank Steinbrenner among them. Steinbrenner, the Yankees' co-chairman, ripped Major League Baseball's divisional system in a column in this week's Sporting News, saying that the format allows teams to make the postseason even if their records don't warrant such an honor. "The biggest problem is the divisional setup in major league baseball. I didn't like it in the 1970s, and I hate it now," Steinbrenner wrote. "Baseball went to a multidivision setup to create more races, rivalries and excitement. But it isn't fair. You see it this season, with plenty of people in the media pointing out that Joe Torre and the Dodgers are going to the playoffs while we're not. "This is by no means a knock on Torre - let me make that clear-but look at the division they're in. If L.A. were in the AL East, it wouldn't be in the playoff discussion. The AL East is never weak."

Old Hanky says it himself. He didn't like it in the 70's but he hates it now...implying he hates it now because the Yankees' former skipper is headed to the playoffs with a worse record while the Yankees are sitting at home. It is making him look bad. How many times has this happened before? Now that it is happening to the Yankees, it is an issue.

This is exactly like the comments he made about the pitchers batting in the NL. Just because a Yankee pitcher got hurt running the bases, it is now an issue.

Am I being baited? I'm starting to feel like I'm being baited. Does Hank know that I love to hear these incoherent ramblings? Is he just baiting me to post? I doubt it, but why does he feel like he is bigger than baseball? Why does he feel like the Yankees are bigger than baseball?

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Return of the Great White Hope...


Acme Chemical Co. thought it would be a good idea to send me to Atlanta to go to a drug conference last week. It was informative. On the non-boring side of things, I took the time to visit Turner Field. It reminds me of Busch III. There were probably about 18,000 people there. Sad. I know the Braves aren't that good, but come on Atlantans (Atlantanites?). What the hell do you call people from Atlanta, anyhow? Turner Field gets a B+ from me. It was a good atmosphere, but could have been better with a better turnout.

On to things that I haven't yet commented on:

-What in hell was Brewer management thinking??? Seriously. Why fire a manager with two weeks left when you are in the heat of a pennant race? That was not done to shake the Brewers out of a funk. Did Yost sleep with Attanasio's wife? That's the only reason for it. Yost was good enough to lead them to a tie in the Wild Card with two weeks left to play, why isn't he good enough to lead the team to the end of the season? It's just stupid.

- Cubs clinched the NL Central...against the Wrigley...and clinched the season series against the Redbirds. What a glorious day this was for Cubs fans.

- The Cardinals got beat 5-1 by the Iowa Cubs the day after the Cubs clinched the NL Central. I say Iowa Cubs, but call it what you want: Cubs' B Squad, Hangover Lineup, etc.

- Congratulations to Rays fans. All three of them finally get to taste October baseball. (I kid because I care, really.)

- Farewell Yankee Stadium...although it was practically built new in 1974-75. It is still (partially) the House that Ruth Built.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Lets Pretend

Lets pretend that you, the reader, are the GM of a baseball team in a pennant race. Actually, it is an opportunity to make the playoffs for the 1st time in 26 years. Additionally, who knows if you'll have this chance again because with baseball economics as it is, your top two pitchers who are free agents are probably not resignable. You feel your team might be fading but they are still tied for the wildcard with about 17 games left. Lets pretend that we are the Milwaukee Brewers GM and make a list of things to do to make sure your team has the best chance to make they playoffs.

1. Have manager throw bats into the shower after a loss to get their attention
2. See if days off allows team to go to a 4 man rotation and use 5th starter as a long reliever.
3. Try to remove the tension by joking with Corey Hart that he needs to change his name because his too girly.
4. Rent out a golf course during an off day and half the team go crazy just like in the Navy Seals movie.
5. Cry
6. Go off on a rookie
7. Have the team run out onto the field to the theme music "The Boys are Back in Town"
8. Have inspirational speaker give the guys a pep talk. Maybe Norman Schwarzkopff or Paul Molitor.
9. Have Prince Fielder go ballistic on Manny Parra again.
10. Code Red the next guy to make an error or if no one makes an error Code Red Ryan Braun.
11. Get drunk, sneak out onto field and turn sprinklers on to give team a rain out.
12. Publically criticize entire team except for Prince Fielder.
13. Start heavy negotiations with Ben Sheets.
14. Take a poll, find out who the least liked guy and cut him....unless its Prince Fielder.
15. Suggest to team that you possibly have worked out a trade for a famous Reds player. (Hey this worked when I was a kid, I thought the Cards were getting Chris Sabo, Barry Larkin or Eric Davis.....turned out it was washed up Dan Driessan.)

or you could do as the real GM of the Brewers did and fire the manager Ned Yost.

Yost batted the pitcher 8th which is ridiculous plus he managed a group of thugs and made me not like him but firing a guy as the team is battling for the playoffs doesn't seem like the best move. Oh well....I hate Brewers either way.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


The first for the Cubs since 1972. Milt Pappas, you have company. Big Z tossed a complete game no-hitter tonight in Milwaukee against the Astros. The Cubs and Astros hooked up at Wrigley Field north due to the devastation that Hurricane Ike brought to southeastern Texas. Zambrano struck out 10, walked one, and hit a batter in the rout. Cubs fans can collectively let out a big sigh of relief. Zambrano returned in playoff form.

As a side note to this amazing story, Cubs fans will love this bit of irony. The game was supposed to have been shown nationally on WGN, but was not because of some ESPN deal with the national broadcast of the White Sox/Tigers game. ESPN broke in to the game to show the bottom of the ninth in Milwaukee. Man, if I was a Sox fan I would be angry...almost as angry as I would be that the Sox squandered a 7 run lead in the 7th and 8th innings...just sayin'.

Thursday, September 11, 2008


I'm taken aback by the loss of life on this day. It is overcoming to think of the total helplessness of those innocent people on those flights, in the buildings and those giving their lives as they tried to rescue one last victim. As a new parent it absolutely kills me that there were children on these flights, just beginning life, just beginning.....

I will never forget and I will never forgive.

Introducing The That's So Taguchi Hall of Fame and the Hall of Douchebaggery

So, this has been something that has needed to be done. I want to introduce two halls and layout the rules for introduction and expectations.

The So Taguchi Hall of Fame Bylaws

1. This shall be a list or club of people, objects, animals, really anything you want that is so awesome they are beyond reproach.

2. They do not have to be associated with sports, just awesomeness.

3. This Hall shall only be subject to limited reproach. No piling on with this group. They are TST Hall members and that means something dammit. To give you an example, whenever one of these members are brought up their should be a deafening silence like in the movie Twister when the tornado chasing clan is devouring their breakfast and they are discussing the different classes of Tornado's like F1, F2 and Bill Pullman/Paxton's girlfriend naively brings up "Is there an F5" and it stops everyone in their tracks. That is what it should be like when a member of this group is brought up.

4. In the presence of criticism of this group the TST author( me and Captain Awesome since J2T has gone Vince Young) shall respond with these phrases "Are you finished yet" "Can we move on" "Do you feel better about yourself now" and that's it. Do not belabor or validate their points.

5. Captain Awesome and I shall be able to nominate 2 potential members each per month. They have to be selected unanimously.

6. The presenter of the potential member should make their arguement. The other member should vote in the comments. These are the only two votes that will count and there should not be a lot of back and forth between I and Captain Awesome. Think of us as Supreme Court Justices delivering our brief. Supreme Court Justices don't argue back and forth trying to convince each other. Neither will we. We make our case for induction, the other person votes and makes their case for why they agree or disagree. Other people can comment or make suggestions for future members. This is welcome. Also, there should be no collusion such as "Hey Captain Awesome if you vote for Tommy Herr, I'll vote for Ryne Sandberg".

7. Membership is forever. Once someone/thing has been inducted they are a member forever and cannot be removed. Nor can they hold dual membership in the Hall of Douchebaggery as this would violate rule 3 of piling on.

8. I have to make this one last thing a bylaw just to emphasize its importance. Cal Ripken can never be in the TST HOF. The reason is because of his support of Brady Anderson to be selected to the BBW HOF. This was not necessary and very distressing for me. Cal Ripken is a great player, one of the best but I can not overlook this. However, he also is exempt from ever being a member of the Hall of Douchebaggery because of his greatness. Think of Cal Ripken as Fredo in the Godfather, he can never be part of the family but he can't get whacked either.

Hall of Douchebaggery (HOD)

1. All rules from the TST HOF apply except in the context of the HOD.

2. Voters need to be very sure that a threshold of true unreversible douchebaggery has been crossed as this is also a unreversible forever membership club.

3. Again, two nominations per month.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Sarah Palin Hot Pictures...

...we have none of those here. What we do have is a tasty, creamy, nougat-filled baseball blog.

(Runningman and I thought that adding titles to our posts that match popular Google searches would help increase the number of hits the site seems like a solid strategy.)

And away we go...

I will routinely disagree with John Donovan of on a variety of issues, but I thought this little nugget that he uses as a lead in to his article about MLB injuries was pure gold:

Tom Brady goes down with a ripped up knee, sidelined for the season, and all of Patriots Nation suddenly looks like a stopped-up Bill Belichick. The pained faces. The mumbled replies. The hurry to get somewhere else.

Constipation jokes generally hit their mark.

John makes a really good point regarding injuries in baseball. In football, a star goes down and a team's chances seem to go into the toilet. Why wouldn't it seem this way? You only have 17 games to make your case for the playoffs. Baseball, however, better allows for injured stars to rehab and rejoin their team in the same season. A team may hit a slump for a while, but they are not as impacted by injuries as in football. Could it be that the number two guy in football is much farther behind the starter, talent-wise, than in baseball?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


The way I see it, the Cubs can only go up from here. The baby bears have lost 8 of their last 7. That's not good. The most recent heart-breaking, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing, mind-blowing loss was a game tonight against the Cardinals. Unfortunately, I got to see this monumental loss in person. One bad pitch to Pujols put the Cards back in the game. That's not the frustrating part. Let me set the stage. Runners on second and third with one out. Caesar Izturis steps to the plate. Izturis takes this awkward swinging bunt (a swunt that would make Mr. Taguchi shed tears of joy) and Brendan Ryan slides around Soto on the fielder's choice.

I'm not worried about the Cubs and their post season chances. The Cubs have put themselves in good position to play in October. I hate to come back to this point, but I don't think the Cardinals are finished yet. I was an outspoken critic of the Cards at the beginning of the season. I thought they would be lucky to finish in 4th, but I'm not counting them out of the Wild Card.

Thursday, September 4, 2008


I don't really believe in contraction of teams. I think that MLB needs to be very sure before placing a team in a certain market. Once placed they should have to stay in that market for a certain period of time, say 15-20 years or so. Then if there are money issues they should be allowed to move or maybe even exchange leagues if there is another team that is having money problems.

With regards to Tampa Bay, they have come a long way with me this year. First they dropped the Devil from Devil Rays which gives them a more traditional sounding name and not so gimmicky. If you need an example of gimmicky professional team names look no further than the Arena Football League. Then they put together a very solid team by drafting well and stealing young pitchers from GM's like Steve Phillips, then they didn't do something stupid like trading for Griffey Jr. indicating that their current management has a confidence in the competitive direction that this team is going. Lastly, it looks like they are going to keep the Yankees out of the playoffs which is great. All that is left for them to do as far as I am concerned is build a new outdoor stadium. Winning a world series would be great but the stadium they have has to go.

The Nationals never should have moved to Washington, they should have stayed in Canada eh, or moved to a city that wasn't in such close competition with NY and Baltimore. That may be easier said than done, I realize. Maybe move into N. Carolina. What I would be in support of is a secondary professional league that would allow relegation of teams like Washington to this league and the promotion of the secondary league winner to the MLB. Then there is real punishment for teams/players that finish with the poorest record.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

My apologies to Tampa Bay.

In the latest edition of ESPN The Magazine, Mike Greeny (of Mike and Mike) states that a year ago he thought the Rays should be contracted. I have felt this way as well. Maybe I have been too hard on the Rays. I have an open mind and I am willing to see other points of view. In this case, the other point of view might actually be my own. The Rays have become a relevant ballclub in the course of one season (I place the credit with Maddon's glasses). This Rays team could be an integral part of season that leaves both Boston and New York out of the playoffs (I would love to see that). I may even find myself rooting for these Rays.

If we want to talk contraction, I have one team in mind that shouldn't be a surprise. Washington. As the Expos, they were on the chopping block. As the Nationals, they are equally as crappy and should be in danger if MLB decides to move forward with contraction. I'm not sure which other team I could contract if it were my decision. I'm looking at the Marlins. Runningman, any thoughts on contraction?

Moral of the story: I'm sorry Tampa Bay. I will be really sorry if the Rays are the main reason that the Red Sox and Yankees miss the playoffs.

Replay away!

A-Rod's 549th HR went under the MLB microscope tonight at Tropicana Field. I'm not feeding any conspiracy theory and I'm not suggesting anything by making this statement, but what are the odds that the first reviewed home run would involve the Yankees? (I know, the odds are 1 in 30.)

On a side tangent, I hate the way that the media decides that everyone in the nation wants to see either a Yankees or Red Sox game (I'm looking at you ESPN). If you live on the east coast, I'm happy for you. You get to see a lot of relevant games. If you are anywhere west of Pennsylvania, I feel for you. I'm sure your baseball interests lie outside of the AL East, but good luck seeing any games outside the AL East on national media.

Back to the matter at hand. The announcers on YES said that the replay review took roughly 2 minutes. This is just about the target time set by MLB. I think their ideal time would be 1:30, but close enough. Anyhow, good job to you MLB. You certainly delivered on your promise of the instant replay...let's just hope this doesn't turn into another point of drama along the way. (I'm waiting for the first blown call to be upheld when the replay is inconclusive...or worse, when the replay shows otherwise...)

Monday, September 1, 2008

Justice! Sweet F'ing justice!

If you want to know what I am so giddy about, just follow this link.


So, someone at WGN has some brains. The debut of the new 90210 will be preempted by...The Astros at the Cubs. This will push the 90210 debut back to 10:30 or so. While I'm certain that the new 90210 will be compelling (Don't believe me? Google "Shenae Grimes" and then come back and we'll talk.), someone figured out that the Cubbies against the Astros will probably rake in higher ratings.

Can we get that kind of service the next time this President or any other decides to give a State of the Union Address?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Call me crazy, but...

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I don't think you can pronounce a time of death on the Cardinals' season yet. Yes, you heard me right. This is coming from a Cubs fan (perhaps this is my skewed view of baseball from being a lifelong Cubs fan...).

The Cardinals have outperformed everyone's expectations for this season. That is, everyone but Skip Bayless. He predicted before this season that the Cardinals would upset the Cubs and take the division. He's a dolt. However, I am not counting out the Redbirds just yet. Both the Brewers and Cardinals, for as well as they have played thus far, have gaping holes in some part of their game. True, the 'Crew filled one of those gaping (and I mean gaping) holes with CC's rotund figure. See children, that just shows that if your team sucks in some area, you need to recruit the fat kid.

Conversely, the Cards helped themselves through addition by subtraction. Izzy is out and that is the sole reason that I am not counting out the Cards. The Cardinals went from having a terrible bullpen to having an adequate bullpen, just by losing Isringhausen. Some of you might say that Milwaukee helped their own cause when Turnbow went out, but Milwaukee's bullpen is exceedingly bad even without Turnbow. Milwaukee is perfectly capable of giving away a large number of games yet.

The ever-present specter in this whole mess is the NL East. It is possible that the Wild Card will not come out of the Central at all...

For Cardinal Nation, 2008 is in the books.....

Too much to overcome this year, too young, too many people going in different directions, too much luck needed that has finally run out. The Cards put together a solid year and persevered through patch worked pitching staff but it wasn't enough. What this year did do was give some younger guys and some never has beens an opportunity and they stepped up. Ludwick, Ankiel, Schumaker, Perez will all have a place on the 2009 team which, with some pitching help, should be able to match up better with the Cubs.

Additionally, I do not want Milwaukee to make it at all. This team is the Houston Astros of 2004-2005 years. They are annoying. So, I will soon become a big Phillies fan.

But wait a minute, let's look closer at this, if the Cards win tonight, Philly goes on a losing streak, Milwaukee implodes, we get some good outings from Wainwright...........2008 is still on.

Monday, August 25, 2008


Ok, true this is a sports blog not a political blog. All I'm saying is that if I'm a Democrat and I've waited 8 years to replace the devil robot president who talks with a DOS type computer voice who has caused high gas prices, erosion, green house gases, AIDS, irresponsible blogging, people to overspend on housing, Germans and the French to hate us, Brett Favre to get traded to the Jets, Bonds to break Aarons record, the trading of Jim Edmonds to the Padres and the subsequent release by the Padres and the signing by the Cubs, the continual dark horse pick of the Brewers to win the NL Central by all Baseball experts causing many to question if a team can really be a dark horse if every expert picks them, tornadoes in Florida and possibly the replacement of the word Christmas with Jesusmas or Baptistmas and I'm watching the Democratic convention and I'm wanting a democrat in the White House then I'm saying "Oh sh!t" or "Sh!t" or "Fu*K" right now. Anyway, its only late August a lot could happen...again Apolitcal.

I like the idea of taking another article and doing find and replace. Here is my ode to Johnny-2-Turds coming home using find and replace.

Johnny-2-Turds are varicosities or swelling and inflammation of veins in the rectum and anus. The anatomical term "Johnny-2-Turds" technically refers to "'Cushions of tissue filled with blood vessels at the junction of the rectum and the anus."[1] However, the term is popularly used to refer to varicosities of the Johnny-2-Turd tissue. Perianal hematoma are sometimes misdiagnosed and mislabeled as Johnny-2-Turds, when in fact they have different causes and treatments.[2]

Johnny-2-Turds are common. In the USA, the prevalence is about 4.4%.[3][4] It is estimated that approximately one half of all Americans have had this condition by the age of 50, and that 50% to 85% of the world's population will be affected by Johnny-2-Turds at some time in their life.[citation needed] Annually, about 10% to 20% of patients with symptomatic Johnny-2-Turds require surgery.[5]
According to a British medical journal of 1972 Johnny-2-Turds "are common in economically developed communities, rare in developing countries, and almost unknown in tribal communities, where the influence of Western countries is slight."[6]

Many anorectal problems, including fissures, fistulae, abscesses, or irritation and itching, also called pruritus ani, have similar symptoms and are incorrectly referred to as Johnny-2-Turds.
Johnny-2-Turds usually are not dangerous or life threatening. In most cases, Johnny-2-Turdsal symptoms will go away within a few days.
Although many people have Johnny-2-Turds, not all experience symptoms. The most common symptom of internal Johnny-2-Turds is bright red blood covering the stool, on toilet paper, or in the toilet bowl. However, an internal Johnny-2-Turds may protrude through the anus outside the body, becoming irritated and painful. This is known as a protruding Johnny-2-Turds.
Symptoms of external Johnny-2-Turds may include painful swelling or a hard lump around the anus that results when a blood clot forms. This condition is known as a thrombosed external Johnny-2-Turds.
In addition, excessive straining, rubbing, or cleaning around the anus may cause irritation with bleeding and/or itching, which may produce a vicious cycle of symptoms. Draining mucus may also cause itching.

Johnny 2-Turds, come home.

Since J2T has been missing for over two months now, I will begin to speculate what happened. To come up with my explanation, I used a highly advanced technique of finding the plot synopsis for Snoopy, Come Home on Wikipedia. Every time "Snoopy" appeared, I did a find and replace in Word to change it to Johnny 2-Turds:

Johnny 2-Turds and the rest of the Peanuts gang go to the beach for the day. Once there, Johnny 2-Turds promises to go back to the beach the next day to meet up with Peppermint Patty. While Captain Awesome and the others have gone home to play Monopoly, he notices Johnny 2-Turds is late, but does not take note of it, and he later cuts his thumb when opening Johnny 2-Turds's can of dog food with a kitchen knife. The next day, Johnny 2-Turds is thrown off the beach due to a new "No Dogs Allowed" rule, and has The Yellow Dart write a complaint letter about it. Then Johnny 2-Turds gets into a fight with Linus for his blanket, and later beats Lucy in a boxing match.

Later, Johnny 2-Turds receives a letter from a guy named Runningman, who has been in the hospital for three weeks and needs Johnny 2-Turds to keep him company. Upon receiving the letter, he immediately sets off with The Yellow Dart to go see him, leaving Captain Awesome completely in the dark as to who Runningman is. But when Linus decides to do some investigating (Captain Awesome: "Just what I need: A blanket-carrying Sherlock Holmes"), he discovers, to Captain Awesome's horror, that Runningman is Johnny 2-Turds's original owner. He faints upon hearing this.

En route to see Runningman, Johnny 2-Turds (with The Yellow Dart along) is forced to face the challenges of a world full of signs declaring "No Dogs Allowed" (e.g. the bus, train, library, hospital, etc., musically accented by the deep tones of Thurl Ravenscroft), and they also face the perils of being the pets of an annoying girl named Clara before managing to escape. The two best friends even camp out and play football and music while preparing dinner.

Johnny 2-Turds finally arrives at the hospital to keep Runningman company for the rest of the time he is admitted. Runningman credits Johnny 2-Turds with saving his life as the two tearfully part ways. Johnny 2-Turds is about to return home when he realizes he will miss Runningman too much and runs back up to see him. He returns home to 'settle his affairs' and say good-bye. Johnny 2-Turds writes a letter and shows it to the kids, leaving possessions to them. (Captain Awesome never got anything). The kids throw Johnny 2-Turds a large, tearful going-away party.

The kids closest to Johnny 2-Turds get up to say a few words in his honor. But when it is his turn to speak, Captain Awesome, overwhelmed to the point of silence, can only burst into tears with Johnny 2-Turds doing likewise. The rest of the gang, even Lucy, eventually follows suit when Schroeder plays It's a Long Way to Tipperary on his piano. Johnny 2-Turds opens his mountain of presents, every single one is a bone.

With Johnny 2-Turds now gone for good, Captain Awesome is unable to sleep. He later admits to Linus that he even prepared a dinner dish for Johnny 2-Turds and took it out to the now-abandoned doghouse before remembering that Johnny 2-Turds was gone.

When Johnny 2-Turds arrives at Runningman's apartment building the next day, he realizes a sign next to the door that says "No dogs allowed in this building" before Runningman comes to the door. Then he is reluctantly introduced to Runningman's pet cat. Johnny 2-Turds shows Runningman the sign. Now released from his personal obligation by this discovery, Johnny 2-Turds leaves Runningman behind and joyfully returns to Captain Awesome and the others.

All seems back to normal until Johnny 2-Turds, again through The Yellow Dart's typewritten letter, demands back the stuff he gave to the gang before he left (except Captain Awesome; Johnny 2-Turds gave him nothing, so he owes him nothing). The rest of the gang angrily walk off leaving Captain Awesome and Johnny 2-Turds together.

Expanding to South America

So, I took a trip to Argentina and Brazil just for work purposes. Eye opening experience. I've been all over the world and I will say without a doubt that the USA is the greatest country in the world. Canada and maybe England can battle it out for 2nd.

Regardless, my latest thoughts:

--Is it really considered an 8 year drought that USA mens basketball team last won a gold medal in 2000. Since they only have the Olympics once every 4 years shouldn't it be a one-olympic drought. 8 year drought implies they have lost it 8 years in a row which they didn't. They only lost it in 2004.

--ESPN...I get hate NBC and the fact that they are covering the Olympics. You don't think they know what they are doing.....I know. I have to say that I wonder if you, ESPN, know what you are doing sometimes with Titletown USA and dare I say the "Who's Now" fiasco. NBC is doing this as a hobby while covering sports is your job.

--Why were the Olympics in China. Is it going to change their Human Rights issues and pollution issues? No, it won't.

--So, why is baseball being dropped?. Seems kind of ridiculous that ping-pong is an Olympic event but baseball isn't. Plus, what about football. How much fun would it be to see an American football team go up against a team from Switzerland. That would be great.

I'm ready for College Football and the NFL. It will be another rough year for the Rams but playing in the NFC will lessen the blow.

World Affairs
Hey Argentina...Would it kill you to put up stop signs at 4-way intersections?

I have to wonder if many life-long democrats are starting to secretly wish they had nominated Hillary instead of Obama now.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Olympics Wrap-up

Today (yesterday in Chinese time?) wraps up the Games of the XXIX Olympiad (it sounds more official when you say it that way). Here are a few observations that I have from the games:
1. US won baseball bronze, but isn't that a kick in the cajones since baseball is "America's Pastime"?
2. Marathon runners are crazy...that includes you, Runningman. If running 26 miles makes you more manly...then sir, you are a better man than I.
3. Name 3 other male swimmers that competed in this year's Olympics besides Michael Phelps. Can't do it? Neither can I.
4. Is there anything greater that US women's sand volleyball? Didn't think so.
5. How would you feel if you won Olympic gold? Pretty good, right? Now, think about how you would feel if you won Olympic gold because of your trampoline routine. My point exactly. Trampoline is the Curling of the summer games.
6. Is anybody else creeped out that these Olympics happened in the future? Time changes freak me out.
7. Beginning a platform dive while doing a hand stand makes me think of the circus...or that Loony Tunes cartoon, High Diving Hare, where Yosemite Sam keeps trying to force Bugs Bunny to dive, but somehow Bugs keeps tricking Yosemite to dive.
8. I fully expect to see Usain Bolt comic books begin to grace the shelves of comic book stores in Jamaica...assuming that they have comic book stores in Jamaica.
9. What was with dropping the baton in the 4X100m relay? I understand that it will happen from time to time, but this is an integral part of the race. Their main thought should be "don't drop the baton." If they do (and they did) it really doesn't matter how fast they ran.
10. Redeem Team...anyone care about this? Anyone? No? Didn't think so.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Despite the funny glasses, Joe Maddon was right.

This post isn't about So Taguchi, but it does begin with a So Taguchi trademark...the swunt. Last night in a tight game with the Angels, BJ Upton swunts towards first base. He hustles (look at me ma, I used a form of the verb "to hustle") out the play and is called safe at first...until he overruns the bag. The ump thought that Upton made a move toward second, so he is called out after being tagged by the Angels. It was the worst call since the last time I saw a call that was equally bad or worse. This prompted Joe Maddon to come out and attempt to school the ump. The ump made this really smug look as he tossed Maddon.

Now, I don't normally agree with Maddon because he wears glasses and uses big words like "fabricate," "interpretation," and "rule book." If Maddon knew what was good for him, he'd sit around with Dusty Baker, spit chewing tobaccy and talk about how happy he was that Upton was called out so he couldn't clog up the base paths. Despite all of this, I agree with Maddon. It was a horrible fabrication of an interpretation of the rule book.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Milwaukee's little charade is cute, but I think it has run it's course.

I hate to bring this up just for the sole fact that this is a uniting theme between Cardinal fans and Cub fans. I am officially tired of Milwaukee's run at the playoffs. I think Cardinal fans are too. It came out of nowhere last year, and it was kind of cute. It was one of those "Awww...look. The Brewers think they are a contender. How prescious." kind of things. Now I am done with it. The Cardinals always seem to contend, I have accepted that fact. The Cubs, even for all their losing ways, can put together a winning team every six to seven years that will contend for a few years before dropping off. The Brewers became trendy last year and, like many trendy things, it's old now. Other trendy things that I would lump in with the Brewers: the macarena (too cliche?), Hannah Montana (and for that matter, Billy Ray Cyrus), Chumbawamba and Tubthumping, Pokemon, Giga pets, slap bracelets (remember those?), and Rick Astley. OK, OK. So Rick Astley was never popular...but you get the point.

The takeaway from this post is that I don't care that CC Sabathia can beat sub .500 teams; I don't care that Prince Fielder became a vegetarian because of his hippie-girlfriend; I don't care that Ned Yost condones domestic violence (see his comments below*); and I don't care about Corey all.

*Ned's comments after the Fielder-Parra altercation: “It’s a little bit rude when your neighbors are fighting next door for you to go knock on the door and ask what happened. We handle it ourselves. It’s between us and it’s nobody’s business. But it wasn’t that big a deal.”

A New Frontier for my Carbon Dating Test...

2008 Beijing Women's Gymnastics. I'm telling you that this is the wave of the future. I am going to get in on the ground floor of this hot issue.

Just as an aside, I read somewhere that the IOC accepts an athlete's passport as proof of age. I think this was in an article. I'm really wondering if that is true. Why, when the East Germans were found to be participating in state-run cheating programs, would the IOC make it so easy for a country to cheat, age-wise? I guess if you think about it, age is an easy way for any country to cheat. If the U.S.'s best gymnast was 15, what would stop the government from issueing false documentation? (I don't see that ever happening in the US because the media would find that pretty quickly, but in countries where the media is controlled by the government, it would be much easier.) Anyhow, this is why my carbon dating methods will become the next big thing in sports.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

My audition for

The Yankees are in trouble. Joba is out and the world hangs on the medical report that comes back on the injury. (New York cares about the injury, but because I choose to ignore that a world exists outside the city limits of New York, I assume that the world cares too...especially those in the Darfur region...I'm pretty sure Darfur is a neighborhood in southern Brooklyn.) Before the Yankees hooked up with Texas tonight, Rick Sutcliffe was asked if the Yankees are in a "dark period." Sut had this to say:

"This season has been a disaster," Sutcliffe said. He continued, "there's not enough fingers to fill all the holes."

Actually, Sutcliffe said something to this effect, "This season has been a disaster. It has been like a dam that keeps leaking. Now there's not enough fingers to fill all the holes." I think my ESPN-style journalism is much better to reporting the truth.

I am not making light of the tragedy that is still occurring in Darfur. I am also not making light of leaky dams.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Whoa. You can't do that.

ESPN, "The Worldwide Leader In Sports," has this quote from Rich Harden after the Cubs finished off a four game sweep of the Brewers:

"I felt as strong as I've been," Harden said.

Harden said this, but this was completely taken out of context. Not only taken out of context, but they are missing an important part of the quote:

"I don't think I felt as strong as I've been," Harden said. "I was a little inconsistent with some of my offspeed pitches today, but I was able to get through it. There were some great defensive plays made today, and that helped me get out of some jams."

I'm not worried about the second part of the quote starting with "I was a little inconsistent..." What bothers me is the very beginning of the quote. Harden is saying that he isn't as strong as he has been. ESPN totally missed the point of what he was saying.

Two possibilities here. ESPN knowingly omitted part of the quote. I can't think of any other reason than to make this a more sensational story. Omitting the first part of the quote doesn't make this a more sensational story, so I am going to say that's not the reason. The other possibility is lackidasical reporting. This is probably the reason. But I ask you which is worse, being dishonest or being incompetent?

Monday, July 28, 2008

Nod to Valdosta.

This is a shout-out to Valdosta, GA. Well done on the TitleTown USA. Somehow, a city that wins it mostly on prep sports titles somewhat validates the contest in my mind. These are the towns that live and breathe hometown sports. Why couldn't ESPN make this competition focus solely on prep sports, or collegiate sports, or pro sports? Anyhow, congrats to Valdosta!

The worst thing about your team playing Milwaukee is...

...Cory Hart. I don't know why, but I despise this guy. He's never done anything to me. He hasn't gone all John Rocker and offended half of New York (that would probably make me like him more). I let it go when he was elected to the All-Star Game in the Final Vote. Actually, I was really busy that week and didn't blog much...but I still let it go. There's just something about this guy that makes me dislike him for no reason. Does anyone else get this way with certain baseball players?
Here are the other players I really dislike:
Yadier Molina is another one for me. I think the root of my Molina hatred comes from my frequent trips to Busch III (I would go to Wrigley more often, but its too far). I think I despise any player that has a name or nickname that rhymes with "hottie." If you can't figure out why, just visit St. Louis for a series.

J.D. Drew is one that I don't like. He always seems so self-righteous. It bothers me.

Rick Ankiel is unnatural. Few pitchers (or former pitchers) can hit that well. The one that comes to mind is Mr. Ruth. Ankiel is not the Babe.

(Notice how most of these are Cardinals?)

A.J. Pierzynski is a grade-A ass-hat. There's nothing more to it. He didn't deserved to be punched by Barrett for the play at the plate. He deserved to be punched by Barrett because he's an ass-hat.

Michael Barrett was a player that I really didn't like defending as a Cub. He just seems to be a complete moron.

Johnny Damon is a Neanderthal. Nothing more. He's just a caveman.

Stephen Drew...maybe I just hate him because his brother's a jack...that and the "ph" in Stephen.

That's all I care to list now. I am really beginning to think I have anger management issues. Why else would I project so much anger on these men who have done nothing to harm me?

Titletown revisited

ESPN does a lot of bad things once they go beyond showing highlights and commenting on highlights. Who's Now series last year was horrible, very horrible. I'll never get over the fact that part of the arguement for Lebron James being "Who's Now" was the fact that he had a nickname. ("Nickname....King James" as the voice over said so matter of factly).

Now we have Titletown USA where ESPN basically recites a resume of each city and their championships and at the end they or maybe voters declare a town Titletown. At first, the idea isn't Who's Now bad but as always they fail to have any criteria for selection and the process dwindles some vague, odd voice over recitation followed by visits to small college towns with crowds and sometimes the whole town screaming "We're #1" albeit at swimming but yeah "We're #1 at swimming and we should be Titletown USA" or "Joe Dimaggio moved here when he was 1 so that means we should be considered Titletown USA" joke that was one of the factoids cited for San Francisco.

They visit towns like Chicago, ok, they have the Bulls, Blackhawks, Bears.......somethings missing, I can't put my finger on it. Anyway, they go over the championships won like I said for each city. This I'm fine with.

But then they go deeper and then is where things start to go wrong, they start to look past championships and at individuals who won championships but not necessarily for the city. For example, when they went to Palo Alto and went over the resume of why "Palo Alto is Titletown USA" they used John Elway who played at Stanford but that what not the crux of their arguement. "Elway played for Stanford but went on to go to the Super Bowl with Denver and eventually leading them to the NFL promiseland twice". Ok, Ok, a couple of things here. First of all, you can't have it both ways. You can't use Elway for Palo Alto, then turn around and use him for Denver when you visit Denver. Basically, they shouldn't use individuals, that's silly.

Also, how does Joe Dimaggio moving to San Francisco when he was 1 have anything to do with San Francisco being a Titletown?

"Palo Alto Title town USA"? Here are a list of towns I could understand being under consideration. Pittsburgh, yes. New York, yes. St. Louis, yes. Chicago, yes. Miami, yes. Tallhassee, yes. Dallas, yes. Chapel Hill, yes. But Palo Alto? C'mon!

Ok, Mr. ESPN listen to me, first thing establish some criteria so that you aren't visiting Palo Alto and using a guy who played in Denver to argue that Palo Alto is Titletown USA. Stick to Professional team championships, college championships and any individuals needs to be tied to a professional team or college team that was located in Palo Alto. So, Tiger Woods would be on the table for winning the College Golf championship John Elway playing at Stanford would count if he had won a championship but John Elway playing in Denver wouldn't. Also, you might want to weight the different sports, I mean don't you think you would lose all credibility if you gave "Titletown USA" to a town where the highschool football team in Parkersburg, VA won the state title 30 years in a row or to Brandon, FL who's wrestling team didn't lose a match in 20 years. Do you really think that has as much weight on the national scale when compared to other bigger towns? Don't get me wrong, its a great thing what those towns have down, its amazing really.

I mean if we are talking about "Highschool Wrestling Town USA", then OK, Brandon, FL you are in the mix and a major player, but if we are talking about "Titletown USA" then I would consider them a major outlier.

So, in summary, ESPN needs to parse down the cities and focus on those cities that have professional and college championships. So, Palo Alto would still be in the mix because of their baseball championships in 1987 and 1988 but not because John Elway won the Super Bowl in Denver.

San Franciso would be in the mix because of the 49ers dynasty but not because Joe Dimaggio moved there when he was 1.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

TitleTown USA

I've let this go for a while. This is another crappy "let the viewer get involved" kind of poll, just like "Who's Now?" from a couple of years back. I can't even begin to tell you how much I loathe these polls. These are really subjective and don't mean anything. Quit taking up valuable Sportscenter time!

Apparently on ESPN's TitleTown page, they let readers submit their case for their favorite TitleTown. Here's a tasty little nugget for San Francisco:

Submitted by rc49ers53

San Francisco!! Hands down we show more loyalty than any town. When the Giants are winning 70 games, we're still drawing 40,000 at the games. The Niners still draw 60,000 even though we haven't won 10 games in a couple of years. Just look at the Bay Area: Niners: five championships, Giants: contending every year. We are TitleTown.

Green Bay, nah, all they have is Green Bay. Boston ... nope, 'member when they hadn't won a World Series in 100 years. Just look at the facts, the Bay Area in general deserves it. WE stick with our teams through thick and thin. Even if we don't win, we know it.

First of all, "Green Bay, nah, all they have is Green Bay."??? What the hell does that mean?!? Second, Boston never went 100 years without a World Series. Unless you count the time before the Boston's first World Series, then Boston hadn't won one in like 4 billion years (or however old the earth is). This one makes my head hurt: "Even if we don't win, we know it." Is this person referring to the fact that San Franciscans know when their teams suck?

Another part that bothers me is that this fellow (I assume it is a fellow) thinks that the Giants are contenders every year. Really?

2007: 71-91/19 games out
2006: 75-85/11.5 games out
2005: 75-87/7 games out
2004: 91-71/2 games out
2003: 100-61/Division Winner
2002: 95-66/2.5 games out
2001: 89-73/2 games out
2000: 97-65/Division Winner
1999: 86-76/14 games out
1998: 89-74/9.5 games out

So, for the last 10 seasons, the Giants were contenders in maybe 5. 5 out of 10 "contending" seasons doesn't equal a title. Thus, this argument is void for TitleTown USA.

Friday, July 25, 2008

It's a seller's market in St. Louis...

Fresh off the heels of a four game sweep at the hands of the division rival Brewers, the Cardinals regrouped and lost 2-7 aganst the Mets. With two other competitive teams (and, quite frankly, better teams), St. Louis may want to look at selling off some of their current assets to invest in the future. Who do I have in mind, you ask? Two of the biggest stars for the Cards this year need to be traded. Ludwick and Lohse should be on their way out if LaRussa and Mozaliek know what is best for the Redbirds. I know many Cards fans won't agree with me. St. Louis fans fall in love with their players and seeing them traded is like a girlfriend breaking up with you. I can't tell you how much I liked watching the Eckstein/St. Louis breakup...

Thursday, July 24, 2008

C.C. Sabath-tastic

You read it here first. C.C. Sabathia will, after this year, receive the most lucrative contract in MLB history. After watching C.C. embarrass the Cardinals last night, it is clear that he is in his contract year. He's going to make the most of the situation. Here's how he's made the most of his situation with Milwaukee so far: 4 games started; 4 games won (somewhat of an arbitrary stat, I know) ; 1.36 ERA; 33.0 innings pitched out of a possible 36.0; 0.85 WHIP; 3.88 K to BB ratio. Will Sabathia come back down to earth? Yes. Otherwise, he would win the C.C. Sabathia Award (Formerly Cy Young Award). The only caveat to my prediction that C.C. will be laughing all the way to the bank (the money bank) is that there may be enough pitching talent available through free agency that the contract numbers may be somewhat suppressed. For example, Ryan Dempster and Ben Sheets will presumably be available during the off-season (assuming they are not locked up by their current teams; possibility for Dempster, nearly impossible for Sheets).

On a lighter note (and I use that term loosely), I would really love to see C.C. and Prince have it out in the Sumo ring. That would be sweet...except for the big, half-naked dudes in diapers. Maybe that's not so cool after all.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Not the best choice...

Joe Morgan? Baseball For Dummies? Is Joe Morgan going to warp unwitting minds that do not know anything about baseball? How can they do this? This should be against some kind of law!

Look for these other "For Dummies" books that will be in stores soon:
Sobriety and Religious Tolerance For Dummies by Mel Gibson
Handling Your Wine For Dummies by Tony LaRussa
Being A Straight Guy For Dummies by Mike Piazza

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Out of the Park Baseball (OOTP)

If there are any real baseball fans out there that love the stats, love the management details that a GM would have to deal with then I highly recommend OOTP. I have been playing this for about 3 years now and I can without a doubt state that it is the best baseball simulation game out there.

If you are looking for an arcade game like 2K or EA Sports this is not what you are looking for. However, if you want to control a historical, fictional or current team. Or if you want to decline the option on your aging vetran free agent to be or if you want to add a South American League or a Super Euro Baseball League to your universe or if you want to see how Babe Ruth would have done as a pitcher....then this is the game for you. Do you want to manage the Chicago Orphans or the Boston Beaneaters? You can. Do you want to see how the non-steroid version of Brady Anderson stacks up against the real steroid induced version? You can. Do you want to bring your dark horse draft pick up from Short Season A Ball to AA ball? You can. All with statistical accuracy. No Ozzie Smith type players jacking 50 home runs here.

Not only is the game itself great out of the box, but it is totally customizable. I just got through modifying the uniforms and hats for my 24 team "United States Baseball League". Side not here just to impress you more, I restricted the league to US citizens when I created the league which was set in 1995 but now in 2004 I am allowing two foreigners per team. Back on point, whatever you want to do or wanted to do with a baseball universe, league or team, this game allows you to do it.

Lastly, the OOTP community is strong and active, there are logo specialists, schedule genuises, league creation journeyman all on the OOTP message boards. Markus Heinshon is the creator, designer and main programmer behind it all. If you find something you don't like or something you want added to the next patch or version of the game and you post it on the boards don't be surprised to get a direct response from him. Regardless, someone will be there to answer your questions or just give you an opinion.

The game can be located at

Rick Reilly.....STFU

So, the homerun derby,...... here is a compition that over the years is met mostly with yawns and with Chris Berman at the helm doing the announcing with his constant and reptitive back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, it is met with a lot of annoyance. Over the years I have realized that Berman is not a fan of the game, nor a fan of the fans of the game.

Then along came Josh Hamilton.......Josh Hamilton was pretty awesome especially considering what he was, where he went and how he came back. More on Hamilon later, but what the hell was Rick Reilly on? First, he starts off talking about how there were only white players in the derby. Now, I am not sure how the whole HR derby invitation piece works, but I am quite confident that anyone is part of the All-Star team could request and be part of the HR derby.

Then we have the derby, which the announcers went on and on and on about hitting a HR out of the stadium, like somehow Yankee stadium would not be complete until a former heroin addict, turned Jesus Christ superstar hits one out of the stadium. It was annoying and took away from Hamilton's accomplishment as it is a great story.

I love baseball, I love almost everything about it. I should have been a baseball player, I envision myself like a Jeff Kent type of player even though I would probably be more like Tom Lawless. I understand what it takes to make it, it take a lot of talent, a lot of luck, a lot of dedication, a lot of people helping out, a lot of work. Not unlike a lot of other professions where people have made it big but in some ways very much different. Regardless, Josh Hamilton made it, he had the talent, he had the luck, he had the dedication, he had the family and coaches helping out. He was the number one can't miss draft pick in 1999 by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, he got injured and got severely hooked on hardcore drugs and basically was attempting to kill himself. He then comes back and comes back and is a potential MVP candidate. He doesn't trust himself and has a friend or bodyguard go with him everywhere, not to protect him from fans but to keep him from doing drugs or doing something that could potentially lead him to do drugs.

I don't know the dark places he went but I can assume it was pretty dark and drastic. I don't know what its like to be on drugs but I watch Intervention on A&E when my wife tricks me into it and those people are pretty horrific and most go back to drugs. I know that what Josh Hamilton did in the HR derby was personally significant to him, anyone who watched and who knows anything about baseball would know this, what he was doing, what he was hearing from the crowd was significant to him not just as a baseball player but as a person. That mattered.

However, Rick Reilly took away from it, his comments on "How come all the players are white". "The old guy wakes up stiff in the morning" and his "Bad night to be an atheist" were horrible. Then the constant discussion and repackaging of Hamilton into this "New and improved" version was eye-rollingly bad. Rick didn't matter that night, the sad thing is that you didn't realize it.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Fun with Photos.

Ha! This is all I can think about during BBTN.

Was this the cool thing to do this year?

What is with the Cardinals and blinking during official Major League photos? Really. Couldn't they take a second picture? This really makes me mad. Why? Was this something that Duncan and Thompson worked out before the photos were taken?

Duncan: Dude, I bet you won't blink during your picture.
Thompson: Bet I will. You wouldn't do it.
Duncan: Just watch me.
Thompson: Fine. You're on.
Photographer: OK, Mr. Duncan. On the count of 3. 1...2...3.
Photographer: Mr. Duncan, you blinked. I'll just take another quick picture.
Duncan: Nope, I'm good.
Photographer: Are you sure? You know this will be on the jumbo-tron during games and on and stuff?
Duncan (snickering): Yeah, it's fine.
Photographer: Mr. Thompson, on 3...

Breaking News

I have now finalized details on my "Things I think I know" tour. As many of you know earlier in the year I toured the US and brought "Things I think I know" to such great cities as LA, Orlanda and Albequerque....I also should have done Santa Fe but I can summarize Santa Fe up in a few short sentences.

I think Santa Fe could have a really rich tradition and cool city but they have whored themselves out to tourists and for the most part Santa Fe really sucks. I do not recommend Santa Fe, there are other much cooler, less whored out cities to visit in New Mexico....there has to be. I give Santa Fe a score of 0 on a scale of 0-10. If Santa Fe played St. Louis in a soccer match and points were based on which city has whored itself out more Santa Fe would win 17-1.

Ok, back to my tour announcement. I am announcing the South American Leg and the Canadian Leg of my "Things I think I know"tour. The South American Tour will visit Buenos Aires and Pergammino, Argentina and Sao Paulo and Uberlandia, Brazil. The Canadian Tour will be Toronto.......eay.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

This is just dumb.

The boys over at FJM picked up on this three days ago. This is how I found it. If you haven't seen them already, you must check out the cartoons put out by the Rays. I'm not going to get into the fact that they name the villain "Dr. Stat." These are just bad cartoons. Horrible. Really. Not kidding. Just watch.

This ain't a scene...

it's an arms race. Sorry for the Fallout Boy reference. The NL Central is the AL East of recent past. It is hands-down the toughest division in baseball...and just got a bit more difficult. The Brewers picked up C.C. Sabathia yesterday. Good call, Runningman. You knew that the 'Crew had the prospects to satisfy the Indians. Today the Cubs picked up Rich Harden from the A's. I was skeptical that the Cubs could pry Harden from the A's. If you have ever read Moneyball, you will know what I am talking about. Both pitchers come with question marks. Will C.C. return to Cy Young form? Can Harden stay healthy? In all this mayhem, the Cardinals are holding tight...for now. Your move Redbirds.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

It's official.

Captain Awesome's leading lady has agreed to become Mrs. Awesome.

Captain Awesome likes speaking in the third person.

Captain Awesome thinks it makes him sound important.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Name that stadium: Round 3

I really didn't mean for this to become a regular feature on the blog, but I have to throw in another stadium that may need renaming. This time it is Miller Park in Milwaukee. OK, so Miller's contract with the Brewers organization is through 2020. I am still throwing this out there because of the news that Miller Brewing Co. will most likely move out of Milwaukee. With the formation of Miller Coors, SABMiller is looking to relocate the US headquarters. I don't know if there is a way for Miller to opt out of the contract early, but it is still fun to suggest new names.

How about Sausage Stadium (in honor of the sausage race...among other things)?
Cory Heart Field...after my arch enemy (not Hank Steinbrenner this time).
Grizzly Adams Park...since everyone in Milwaukee has a bushy beard...even the women.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Awesome Shirt

Captain Awesome, your reputation preceeds you. You now have your own shirt.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

The Jimmy Ballgame Odyssey: Vol. III

Jim Dandy knocked in two home runs today...both in the bottom of the 4th inning...against the White Sox, no less. In 26 games with the Padres, Edmonds was batting .178, slugging .233, and getting on base at a .265 clip. Those numbers in 25 games with the Cubs are .311/.581/.358. So far, this is working out well for the Cubs. Edmonds fit a very specific role that the Cubs needed. The Cubs wanted a left handed bat that could platoon in CF with the righty, Reed Johnson. They are paying him $284,000 this year. What is wrong with all of that? Absolutely nothing. I'm not saying that Jimmy boy was the best acquisition of the season. I know J2T is waiting for me to commit myself. Here it is: Edmonds has worked out well for the Cubs so far. I am happy he is a Cub so far. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Name that stadium: Round 2

As some of you remember, I posted a while ago and asked for new names for Wrigley. The impending sale of the team and the stadium has me quite worked up. Anyways, this may be somewhat premature, but who wants to guess at the new name for Busch Stadium III? With the impending sale of our beloved A-B to those Belgian beer whores, I am predicting that InBev will want to cut all unnecessary expenses. I'm sure naming rights to an American baseball stadium falls under an unnecessary expense. I understand that Busch Stadium III is under contract until 2025, but what about after that? What if InBev can buy out of that contract? Will we have Purina One Field? Capri Sun Stadium? I would personally love to see the Cardinals play at Summer's Eve Field. I know I am probably jumping the gun on this one. Maybe the InBev people won't be so bad. Maybe they'll honor A-B commitments to the city of St. Louis. Maybe not...a Cubs fan can always dream...

Thursday, June 19, 2008

St. Louis Sports Talk

To start I have to say that I very much like living in a city where there is always sports talk on the radio. I realize that if everything that I said about sports or my initial thought about certain subjects was aired to thousands or millions that I would also have a resume of stupid quotes and suggestions.

I think the best in STL is Bernie Mikalasz, I think the worst is Bob Fescoe followed very closely by Kevin Slaten. Bernie does get on my nerves sometimes with his attempts at coolness but solid analysis. Fescoe I believe tries hard but for some reason I don't feel like his heart is in this here. Kevin Slaten is pretty much horrible, although entertaining. His logic is horrible, his consistency in analysis and strategy is horrible, his perspective on players is horrible but he does call callers names and his whole show was like watching a car wreck. For now the car wreck is on hold as he got kicked off the air for putting Dave Duncan on the air without his permission and Duncan and the Cards threatened to take it to government authorities.

Also, the callers sometimes just don't get it. They call in and will make suggestions such as "Lets trade Anthony Reyes and Adam Kennedy to the Astros for Roy Oswalt and Wandy Rodriguez". Or "Albert is going to be going away in the next three years, lets trade him for some young guys".

Or "we would be better off if we had Eckstein right now".....