Monday, June 1, 2009

My suggestions to make the game better...

Opinions are like a**holes...well, you know the rest of that quote. Don't take the following as my opinion. Take the following as fact.

Captain Awesome's List of Things to Make Baseball Better (Working Title)
- Set up Hooters franchises in the ballparks. Wings make everything better...sports, drinking, sex...wait, maybe not that last one. On the other hand...
- Rid the American League of the DH and Steinbrenners. In fact, lift the lifetime ban of Pete Rose and place a ban on the Steinbrenners and all of their progeny forever.
- Lower beer prices for Pete's sake! You could spit on the Anheuser Busch (sorry, I mean ABInbev) brewery from Busch III, and it still costs $8.50 for a beer. Weak.
- I like the 7th inning stretch. Let's have a 5th inning stretch. The 5th inning stretch would have T-shirt cannons and midget bowling.
- Watching baseball for three hours goes by too quickly. I always want to hang around and drink afterwards. After the game, they should have women's mud wrestling and/or foxy boxing.

See? Like I said, these are fact.

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