Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Without Runningman, J2T, and the Yellow Dart...

...am I free to write whatever I like without fear of repercussions.

I have a beef with Cardinal fans that I am going to illustrate here. This is one of those angry rant posts, so read on with great care.

Cardinal fans like to call themselves "The Best Fans in Baseball." This couldn't be farther from the truth. I will tell you why.

Most Cardinal fans really aren't. Go to Busch the Third and ask anyone who won the '85 World Series. Heck, ask them the last time the Cardinals won a World Series prior to 2006. You would be lucky to get 2 out of 5 fans that would know the answer to both questions. The fact of the matter is that the Cardinals have legions of casual fans. They are fans because all their friends are. Consider this. A group of 5 people are all friends. Friend 1 likes the Cardinals because Friend 2 likes the Cardinals. Friend 2 likes the Cardinals because Friend 3 likes the Cardinals. Friend 3 likes the Cardinals because Friend 4 likes the Cardinals. Friend 4 likes the Cardinals because Friend 5 likes the Cardinals. Friend 5 likes the Cardinals because Friend 1 likes the Cardinals. In this group, you have nobody that is really knowledgeable about the Redbirds. FYI, all my previous girlfriends were Cardinal fans (including the future Mrs. Awesome). One girlfriend asked me who Stan Musical was. Musical!

Cardinal fans will chastise you for booing players on your team. I actually got into it with the Yellow Dart recently over this one. Cardinal fans are like parents of a little league player. "It's OK, go out and get them next time. You gave it a good shot." Puke. I buy team apparel. I attend games. I am paying the bills. I demand results. You don't produce and I will let you know about it. I'm not going to coddle you.

Cardinal fans are extremely uppity. Recently, some bonehead with a laser pointer in Philly disrupted the game. All I heard the next day was "Philadelphia fans are so obnoxious. Philadelphia is a sh*thole. Philadelphia fans are not real fans. They only sell out because they just won the World Series." Way to prove that you are the "best" fans of any team by slamming other fans. I shouldn't even mention it, but the preferred nickname of Wrigley Field in St. Louis is "The World's Largest Gay Bar." Good one, St. Louisans.

Finally, I am a Cubs fan living in St. Louis. Don't tell me you are a more dedicated fan. You don't know what dedication is until you have to hear "When did your team last win the World Series?" on a daily basis. Where were all of you in the early 90's? Oh, so you're not the "best" fans in sports when your team sucks.

I feel better now. I have made up for defending a Cardinal.

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