Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The 100th Post...how appropriate.

I have nothing intelligible to say after the Cubs' 7-2 loss to the Dodgers in the NLDS Game 1. Instead, I will relay the text messaging that went on between myself and Johnny-2-Turds (no shit, he's really alive). Bonus: I will give you my very own commentary on the conversation in italics.

Out of the blue in the seventh inning (or thereabouts)...
J2T: I've had about enough of Tony Gwynn and his scratchy voice.
Cap'n A: I wouldn't mind it so much if he had something intelligent to say.
J2T: He kept calling Derek Lowe Derek Lee and vice versa in the first few innings.
Cap'n A: I know. I was cracking up.
A little while later...
J2T: This broadcast needs Rick Sutcliff. Ha!
Cap'n A: He would be so drunk by now...
J2T: Totally. Hey, I'm thankful I'm not listening to Ron Santo. I can hear him already... Oh No... Oh Man... GEEZE!
Cap'n A: You forgot "C'mon."
J2T: Hahaha. Yeah, I did.
Even later...
Cap'n A: I love this cliche: He doesn't try to do too much, he takes it up the middle. Thanks Tony.
J2T: I enjoyed the lecture on keeping your head down. Hey, if color commentators can't use cliches, what can they use?
Feeling humorous accusatory racism is the only escape...
Cap'n A: Color commentators? You racist.
J2T: Sorry, I should have said commentators of color.
J2T: Say it in a Jesse Jackson voice.
Apparently thinking everything is "hilarious" when I'm drunk, I reply...
Cap'n A: That's hilarious.
J2T: Tony: "time's running out, one out in the eighth." Brilliant. Can they cancel his TV contract after one game?
On a play at first when it looked like Theriot was out, but Maddux didn't touch the bag...
J2T: Good call.
When I didn't even see Maddux miss the bag...
Cap'n A: I didn't even see Maddux miss the bag.
J2T: Me neither.
Now I'm starting to become anti-social, so J2T takes the initiative to text message me again...
J2T: Z better bring it tomorrow.
Cap'n A: He better...
While pitching a bitch fit like a little girl...
Cap'n A: I'm pitching a bitch fit like a little girl...plus I'm a little drunk so it is even worse.
J2T: Well, these short series always suck, especially when you lose th fist game. The you feel like it's must win every game.
Now even more cynnical than just after the game...
Cap'n A: If the Cubs lose tomorrow, they're almost eliminated. How's that for a Gwynn-ism?
J2T: Pretty good.

1 comment:

Runningman said...

Good thing this is a 7 game series.....oh....