Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Great Beer Debate of '08

I submit this in this forum because I like beer and it is an integral part of baseball for me. I could touch off a firestorm with this one, but here it goes. I am tired of the American lager not getting any love. Why is it so trendy to rip on the Budweisers, Millers, and Coors products? As I see it, there are two types of beer drinkers (no, not alcoholics and social drinkers). There are those that enjoy beer and those that want to look like they know everything about beer by drinking microbrewed or imported beers. I like to think that I am of the former type.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not insulting microbrews or imports. I know, you're thinking to yourself:
- Does Captain Awesome like imports? Of course! Guiness is one of my top two or three beers. There's nothing like a night when the Guiness goes down smooth. Those are the blurry, how did I get home, I hope it was me that threw up in my pants types of nights.
- Does Captain Awesome like microbrews? Yes, it's always an adventure with microbrews. Buying mix-and-match microbrews makes me feel like Indiana Jones (topical humor reference). Allow me to explain, it's like one false move and I'm falling into a pit of snakes. Only with the beer, it's like one bad beer and I'm blind in one eye and I'm drooling uncontrollably. Who wouldn't like that?
- So, WTF? All I am saying is that I have little patience with people who are beer snobs. Don't sneer at me when I order a Bud Light or an MGD. Maybe I'm so intolerant because I don't understand. To help me understand, I have a few questions to ask:
- Do you rip on Anheuser Busch, Miller, and Coors products because you prefer darker beers? OK, that's fine. But, instead of belittling me because I am drinking a light beer, just say, "I prefer dark beers." See? Isn't that more pleasant?
- Do you rip on Anheuser Busch, Miller, and Coors products because you think large corporations sell out their products' principles/qualities in favor of profits? What kind of tree-hugger are you? That's save the whales hippie crap! Do you drink only Vess cola because you think that Coca-Cola or Pepsi Co. sold out their product (I am fully aware that Coca-Cola did this with New Coke, so don't bother pointing that out.)? If that is your position, don't bother going to the stadium. There is at least once in every baseball club's past where the management skimped on the quality of the product (the team) in favor of the almighty dollar.
- Are you trying to look cultured by drinking a beer that makes you look trendy? Poser!

If you don't like Budweiser, Bud Light, Miller Light, Miller Genuine Draft, Coors, Coor Light, etc., just say that you don't like it. Don't look down on me because I am drinking it. OK, I'm done. I have braced myself for comments, so bring it on!


Runningman said...

Agreed. I have drank several German and Belgium beers. They are good but I wouldn't call them better,just distinctive in their taste. American beers tend to have a saltier taste which I prefer. Also, the Mexican Beers Corona, Sol, Tecate are good also.

Johnny-2-Turds said...

Room-temperature Rolling Rock isn't without its charm.

Captain Awesome said...

So I've heard, 2-Turds. So I've heard...

Soccer_hooligan said...

You’re a fruit and don’t fruit the beer. cuz I can hold my booze.