Monday, May 12, 2008

There's no crying on American Gladiators

Here is the exact reason that I am not a contender on American Gladiators:
I am sitting in the chair this evening, watching the premier of the new season of American Gladiators with the Yellow Dart. My phone rings. My brother is on the other end. "Hey, Cap" he says. "What's going on?" I reply. "There's going to be some people meeting out at the park to play sand volleyball." he tells me.
Now, I consider myself to be in pretty good shape. I don't pass on athletic competition often, but I had to decline this time. "Sorry man, but I've had a little too much to drink right now. I probably shouldn't drive." I said. "Yeah, you probably shouldn't play volleyball either." he said. What a sad day...or cool day. I haven't figured out which...

Anyhow, as I said, I was watching the premier of American Gladiators and one of the female contenders started to cry because she said she was doing this for her kids. Maybe its because I'm not yet a dad...maybe its because I'm a heartless bastard...but, there's no crying in American Gladiators. Tom Hanks even said he didn't. Anyhow, there's no crying in American Gladiators.


Johnny-2-Turds said...

Don't you miss the giant hampster ball things? American Gladiators sucks without them.

Captain Awesome said...

That's right! I forgot about those. They really need to bring those back.