Monday, August 25, 2008


Ok, true this is a sports blog not a political blog. All I'm saying is that if I'm a Democrat and I've waited 8 years to replace the devil robot president who talks with a DOS type computer voice who has caused high gas prices, erosion, green house gases, AIDS, irresponsible blogging, people to overspend on housing, Germans and the French to hate us, Brett Favre to get traded to the Jets, Bonds to break Aarons record, the trading of Jim Edmonds to the Padres and the subsequent release by the Padres and the signing by the Cubs, the continual dark horse pick of the Brewers to win the NL Central by all Baseball experts causing many to question if a team can really be a dark horse if every expert picks them, tornadoes in Florida and possibly the replacement of the word Christmas with Jesusmas or Baptistmas and I'm watching the Democratic convention and I'm wanting a democrat in the White House then I'm saying "Oh sh!t" or "Sh!t" or "Fu*K" right now. Anyway, its only late August a lot could happen...again Apolitcal.

I like the idea of taking another article and doing find and replace. Here is my ode to Johnny-2-Turds coming home using find and replace.

Johnny-2-Turds are varicosities or swelling and inflammation of veins in the rectum and anus. The anatomical term "Johnny-2-Turds" technically refers to "'Cushions of tissue filled with blood vessels at the junction of the rectum and the anus."[1] However, the term is popularly used to refer to varicosities of the Johnny-2-Turd tissue. Perianal hematoma are sometimes misdiagnosed and mislabeled as Johnny-2-Turds, when in fact they have different causes and treatments.[2]

Johnny-2-Turds are common. In the USA, the prevalence is about 4.4%.[3][4] It is estimated that approximately one half of all Americans have had this condition by the age of 50, and that 50% to 85% of the world's population will be affected by Johnny-2-Turds at some time in their life.[citation needed] Annually, about 10% to 20% of patients with symptomatic Johnny-2-Turds require surgery.[5]
According to a British medical journal of 1972 Johnny-2-Turds "are common in economically developed communities, rare in developing countries, and almost unknown in tribal communities, where the influence of Western countries is slight."[6]

Many anorectal problems, including fissures, fistulae, abscesses, or irritation and itching, also called pruritus ani, have similar symptoms and are incorrectly referred to as Johnny-2-Turds.
Johnny-2-Turds usually are not dangerous or life threatening. In most cases, Johnny-2-Turdsal symptoms will go away within a few days.
Although many people have Johnny-2-Turds, not all experience symptoms. The most common symptom of internal Johnny-2-Turds is bright red blood covering the stool, on toilet paper, or in the toilet bowl. However, an internal Johnny-2-Turds may protrude through the anus outside the body, becoming irritated and painful. This is known as a protruding Johnny-2-Turds.
Symptoms of external Johnny-2-Turds may include painful swelling or a hard lump around the anus that results when a blood clot forms. This condition is known as a thrombosed external Johnny-2-Turds.
In addition, excessive straining, rubbing, or cleaning around the anus may cause irritation with bleeding and/or itching, which may produce a vicious cycle of symptoms. Draining mucus may also cause itching.

1 comment:

Captain Awesome said...

I'm on board with your political comment now. It needed a little clarification. Plus, I like how you linked the Favre trade to W.

A++ on the J2T find and replace.

By the way, I am going to try to work the phrase "pruritus ani" into at least one conversation per day.