Monday, September 15, 2008

Lets Pretend

Lets pretend that you, the reader, are the GM of a baseball team in a pennant race. Actually, it is an opportunity to make the playoffs for the 1st time in 26 years. Additionally, who knows if you'll have this chance again because with baseball economics as it is, your top two pitchers who are free agents are probably not resignable. You feel your team might be fading but they are still tied for the wildcard with about 17 games left. Lets pretend that we are the Milwaukee Brewers GM and make a list of things to do to make sure your team has the best chance to make they playoffs.

1. Have manager throw bats into the shower after a loss to get their attention
2. See if days off allows team to go to a 4 man rotation and use 5th starter as a long reliever.
3. Try to remove the tension by joking with Corey Hart that he needs to change his name because his too girly.
4. Rent out a golf course during an off day and half the team go crazy just like in the Navy Seals movie.
5. Cry
6. Go off on a rookie
7. Have the team run out onto the field to the theme music "The Boys are Back in Town"
8. Have inspirational speaker give the guys a pep talk. Maybe Norman Schwarzkopff or Paul Molitor.
9. Have Prince Fielder go ballistic on Manny Parra again.
10. Code Red the next guy to make an error or if no one makes an error Code Red Ryan Braun.
11. Get drunk, sneak out onto field and turn sprinklers on to give team a rain out.
12. Publically criticize entire team except for Prince Fielder.
13. Start heavy negotiations with Ben Sheets.
14. Take a poll, find out who the least liked guy and cut him....unless its Prince Fielder.
15. Suggest to team that you possibly have worked out a trade for a famous Reds player. (Hey this worked when I was a kid, I thought the Cards were getting Chris Sabo, Barry Larkin or Eric Davis.....turned out it was washed up Dan Driessan.)

or you could do as the real GM of the Brewers did and fire the manager Ned Yost.

Yost batted the pitcher 8th which is ridiculous plus he managed a group of thugs and made me not like him but firing a guy as the team is battling for the playoffs doesn't seem like the best move. Oh well....I hate Brewers either way.

1 comment:

Captain Awesome said...

I like #1 on your list, but you have to add a little something to it. You have to have the manager throw the bats into the shower and then give the "Lolligaggers" speech.

I also like the suggestion to Code Red Ryan Braun.

You talk about cutting the least liked guy unless it is Prince Fielder, but there are rumors floating around that the Brewers are ready to trade Fielder for starting pitching in the off season. That seems perfectly in line with Brewers front office things that aren't logical and pray for the best.